Part of self-care, is knowing the difference, and being able to give yourself more of the former, than the latter. Sometimes though this means not just seeking out what is good for you, but not letting yourself indulge the things that are bad for you. It is denying yourself that which you know will do you harm. This in itself is a valuable skill to have.
It is setting boundaries.
Sometimes something will seem to be good for you. It might taste good, or feel good, or even just smell good. Sometimes it is a substance, or a food, or a beverage. Sometimes it is even a person. You may get drawn into whatever it is. It might become a habit that keeps a part of you enticed and engaged. It might even become an addiction. You might have a hard time realizing that it is not good for you.
You might not want to let it go.
Even though it does you harm. Even though it makes you feel sick sometimes. There is a lot to be said for when something makes us sick. Or anxious. Maybe our intuition about something or someone is trying to warn us away from letting that or them into our lives. But we may not listen to those warnings. We might want the good tastes and smells and feels that are also part of what is being offered. We might get confused as to why those things could be bad for us, when everything else seems to say that they are good.
Well I am here to tell you that you should listen to those voices.
Just don’t go telling people that you’re listening to the voices. Or they might just call the police. And whatever you do, don’t go climbing any bell towers either. Especially if you’re carrying a duffel bag. Because sometimes people get the wrong idea. They don’t always understand. And understanding people and things can be tricky. So this is why we have intuition. It is like a compass to guide us through the confusing darkness of life. When things are unclear or uncertain and we find ourselves heading down a path blindly, our intuition can tell us when something doesn’t feel right... or healthy or good, for us.
I have ignored those voices in the past and I have gone down some paths I wish I could have avoided. I didn’t trust what my gut was telling me. I had met someone who felt and smelled and tasted good to me. But she wasn’t good for me. She made me sick. And early on shortly after meeting her, my gut responded with a lot of anxiety and warning. But my logical voice in my brain argued that I should persevere. And so I did and that decision took me down a road of much struggle and pain for quite some time.
My heart knew it wasn’t good for me. But it couldn’t stop loving the parts that were good. Because the parts that were good, we SO VERY GOOD. It was confusing.
And I think this example can also be true of other examples too.
Food, or beverage, or substances, or addictive habits can become just as confusing in their enticement and engagement, and still be not good for us. We can keep trying to entertain and sustain them, but they will in the end be a pain. Insane. So much of ourselves gets lost in them. And all because we lose ourselves in not listening to our voices. It’s like we detach from our core, and follow something that leads us away from who we are and what is healthy for us. We sacrifice those things for the sake of something that offers so much promise, but doesn’t really deliver. It doesn’t give us anything or give anything back to us.
It only takes.
And it takes a lot of suffering before we realize how far we have wandered from where our lives felt more fulfilled. It is what happens when we chase emptiness. We keep trying to squeeze something from nothing. And it is that nothingness that triggers the emotional response in our intuition. It is what our intuitions picks up on when it senses there is nothing good for us in something or someone. Its senses are not swayed by good smells, tastes or feels. It is instead tuned into the energy of something.
And energy doesn’t lie.
Rather, the emptiness does. It lies and keeps lying to keep us following. And in following the lie, we lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves that it must be good because it has all those good parts to it. But the more we try to love it and to live with it lying to us, the more we are loving the lie. And loving a lie will only hurt us in the end. And it will end. Because no lie can last. A lie will eventually die when the truth of what is happening or what we are doing comes out. And truth has a way of doing that. It has a life force full of promise that actually does deliver. It is powerful and it creates more than it destroys. It lives in each of us, whether we choose to see it or to follow it (or believe it) or not. It exists in all things. And it always prevails.
The truth is out there.
And we know it when we feel it. It tells us if something is good for us or not. We only have to listen to it. And trust it. Because if we don’t, then we will to endure a difficult time for a period of time, that will eventually take us back to where we had wished we listened in the first place.
But maybe there’s times we need to go through all that.
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